No bad deed goes unpunished
by SharanMcQuack
Summary: Mr. McDuck has found money stolen from Flintheart Glomgold and is tempted to shut up and keep it. Returns it anyway and Flinty assumes he's up to something.


No bad deed goes unpunished

By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

Idea stolen from the russian ducktales story "Allergy Gold" on Ducktales aniworld ru * and, Heaven Help Me, an episode of Peg + Cat on PBS. (Problem solved! Problem solved! We solved the problem, so everything is awesome, problem solved!)

*Psst! Whoever is responsible for that site, thank you very very much for renewing it. I missed it.

"What's wrong Unca Scrooge? You look upset." Huey asked.

"Remember that gold and money I found in that cave? Magpie stole it- from FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD!" Mr. McDuck replied. "If I try to return it, Flinty will assume I'm up to no good!"

"Why don't I just keep it? Flinty's tried to steal from me, tried to kill me, tried to become the richest duck in the world instead of me!" Mr. McDuck asked. "Give me one reason I shouldn't just shut up and keep it?"

"Because that's what Flinty would do if he had found YOUR money and gold in that cave." Launchpad replied.

"I didna ask YOU! " Mr. McDuck replied.

"Unca Scrooge, aren't you tired of always fighting against Flinty? " Huey asked.

"You and he are always opposed each other, but you have a lot in common with him!" Dewey commented..

"Maybe if you return his money, it could be a peace offering? An opportunity to make friends with him?" Louie suggested.

"Maybe he would rather be friends with you than your enemy? Would YOU rather be friends with him ? It's worth a try." Webby stated.

"Still, how do I explain it to Flinty without him thinking I'm up to something?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"Tell him you can't otherwise explain where the money came from and you will get in trouble with the IRS and the law if you DON'T return the money." I suggested.

Soon, Mr. McDuck made it known that he was leaving Earth to travel in search of the strange metal Magpie had stolen.

"I know it can be found on at least one asteroid. My pilot, Launchpad will fly me until I find it! I na come back without it!" Mr. McDuck told the Press.

"But how will you FIND it in boundless space?" One reporter asked.

"That's my secret." Mr. McDuck said.

_()() I'm not telling you that the metal attracted some of the older dimes in my pocket like a magnet- only the oldest dimes. ()_() Mr. McDuck thought.

He did, however explain this to Launchpad, me and the kids.

"I know they've changed the alloy dimes are made of over the years. The metal must attract the silver alloy dimes used to be made of many years ago. For that reason, I'm taking me Lucky Dime with me." Mr. McDuck said.

"Can't you take any old dime? Like that decoy dime minted in the same year as Old Number One you've used to fake out Magica?" Launchpad suggested, knowing how much that dime means to Mr. McD and how it has the bad habit of getting lost.

""No, I be needing all the luck I can get with YOU flying me there! I'm taking me Lucky Dime with me." Mr. McDuck replied.

Which is pretty much the same story that Mr. McD told Flinty.

"Your returning my money that was stolen from me? Why? You could just keep it and I would of never known you found it!" Flinty asked. "Just what are you up to?"

"I'm taking me life in my hands by having Launchpad fly me. " Mr. McDuck began.

"I believe in karma, even if you do not. I wish to do the right thing and give you back what is rightfully yours." Mr. McDuck continued.

" Even if I hate your guts, even if you MAY have stolen this money in the first place. Since I do not know that for a fact, I have to assume you actually EARNED this money," Mr. McDuck stated.

"Therefor, here is YOUR money. I am leaving on a dangerous journey and I wish to do so with a clean conscience. In the hopes it will bring me luck." Mr. McDuck finished.

"Bah! If you really believe the nonsense about Launchpad crashing, you're never had hired him in the first place, never mind use his services so often! There are lots of pilots, lots of cheap pilots..." Flintheart replied.

"But only one I can trust not to steal the metal I'm after. And to bend over backwards to protect me and me nephews, come what may." Mr. McDuck replied.

"Fiddlefaddle. That does you no good if he crashes you someplace along the way. But I'll take my money and keep an eye on you." Flinty replied.

Since Flinty assumed the money was counterfeit or marked or something. Flinty had it examined in one of his banks. To be told it was perfectly good money. Flinty scratched his head and kept both eyes on Mr. McDuck, sure he was up to no good.

Soon thereafter, Launchpad had blasted off for deep space, me and Webby and the Trins in tow. I had my cameras with me and I planed to write about this little jaunt too. Launchpad and my kids stayed with Mrs. Beakly. Since we were looking after the Trins and Webby, she looked after our kids.

"I still don't like you taking your Lucky Dime on this trip when any old dime would do..." muttered Launchpad.

"It's MY Dime. And I have it in a locket, on a chain, around my neck. What could be safer?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"Keeping it back in your Money Bin, where it belongs. Do I at least get to say "I told you so" if something happens to it?" Launchpad replied.

"Keep your hands on the wheel, keep your mind on the "road", keep your eyes open for any asteroids." Mr. McDuck sniffed. "Ignore any thing small. Magpie said it was found on an asteroid, and besides, anything smaller than an asteroid probably can't have enough of the metal to be worthwhile."

So Launchpad headed towards the asteroid belt, avoided the "tiny" rocks and searched for larger ones.

Soon, the Lucky Dime started tugging at it's chain. Mr. McDuck grasped the chain.

"Ah ha! Old Number One's not let me down yet! To the left, Launchpad." Mr. McDuck muttered.

"And straight on 'till morning." Launchpad muttered.

So he flew the skyclipper "Steam" (named after an ancestor of Launchpad's ) in the direction the Dime was straining towards. Soon, we landed and climbed out of the skyclipper to search for the metal.

The asteroid was purple and far smaller than Earth. And had a LOT less gravity than Earth. We had magnetic weighted boots to keep us down.

However, the Dime was now a lot closer to the new metal. It tugged itself free of the chain that held it. (1) The Dime flew off towards the metal, Mr. McDuck in hot pursuit.

"Told ya so." muttered Launchpad, almost inaudibly.

BACK ON EARTH... Flinty had used the money Mr. McD had returned to him to A) build his own much smaller skyclipper, "Sulfur". (2) B) Hire Butch Beagle to fly it. C) Hire "hired muscle" Beagles as backup and equip and supply the flight, including "surprises" intended to rob or kill us.

Soon, Butch was following our "wake", the trail of our rockets, keeping out of our sight, hiding behide space rocks to remain unseen by us.

Sulfur landed on the purple asteroid soon after we had, landed just out of sight of us. The bad guys landed atop a mesa and used binoculars to find and follow us from a safe distance.

Flinty unpacked and assembled a giant, large jawed mechanic monster, one too big and heavy to use on Earth. Since the gravity of the purple asteroid was much less, it could be safely used here.

Flinty controlled it with a remote control, Ala Jim on "Giagantor" (3)

MEANWHILE, the flyaway Dime had finally stopped...it first flew down, down a cave till it crashed into a wall of raw ore. Ore of the iridescent metal Mr. McD sought. It was stuck tight by the magnetic pull the ore had on the Dime.

Every time we pulled the Dime loose, it just was reattracted to the ore and restuck.

"Why don't we return the Dime to the ship, now that we know where the ore is?" I suggested.

"Good idea! We need equipment we have aboard the ship to mine this, anyway!" Mr. McDuck replied.

So we TRIED to return to the ship...only to find the mechanical monster waiting for us at the exit of the cave.

"Is there another way out?" asked the Trins.

"We only have so much air in our spacesuit tanks. We may not have time to find one." Mr. McDuck replied.

"There are roundish rocks here. Can we roll them and trip it up, like I did that dinosaur?" Launchpad suggested.

"They're not round enough. They won't roll far enough, especially not over this rough ground." I replied, regretfully.

Just then, a huge noise attracted our attention.

A huge, large jawed space monster had been sleeping on the purple asteroid. He had been awoken by all the noise the mechanical Largejaw made. Now, he mistook Largejaw for a female of his species. He grabbed Largejaw, hugged it, kissed it, caressed it...and squeezed it to bits.

The flesh and blood space monster cried and fled ...hopefully to find a real mate someplace ELSE.

We emerged from the cave, found no more resistance, and headed for the ship. Once aboard Steam, we unpacked the portable ultrasonic diggers. Soon, the ore was dug and packed aboard Steam and we headed back to Earth before something ELSE went wrong.

Flinty meantime tried to reassemble Largejaw, but couldn't do so it time to menace us. It was too badly damaged. Finally, he gave up, and just dumped the parts aboard Sulfur and chased us back to Earth.

Flinty intended to steal our ore and come back to the purple planetoid for more, now that he knew where we had found it.

But one of the "hired muscle", Brawny Bicep wanted to prove he had a brain as well as muscle. Brawny spent the trip back fixing the mechanical monster. Brawny did a very good job. But nobody had told BRAWNY that Largejaw was too big and heavy to use on Earth. And even if Brawny wasn't stupid, he also wasn't smart enough to realize that himself.

People often aren't as smart as they think they are.

Brawny soon had the mechanical monster , Largejaw, repaired. Brawny TRIED to use it, controlling it via the remote. But it couldn't stand up. It was too big. It was too heavy. It collapsed under it's own weight, crashing the skyclipper Sulfur, which was fortunately empty. Sulfur was a total loss, as was the mechanical monster.

"Arrgh! I spent all the money you returned to me on that ship and on that monster! Now they're gone!" screamed Flinty.

Somehow, nobody felt the slightest bit sorry for him.

The End.

(1)Mr. McDuck had used a gold chain and gold is a soft metal.

(2) It was cheaper.

(3)To all deprived children too young to remember Gigantor look up Gigantor on Youtube. The theme song alone is worth it. Watch, now they make a Gigantor movie. "They" only listen to me when they want to.

"Gigantor's a space age robot, he's at your command! Gigantor's a space age robot, his powers in your hands! Bigger than big! Stronger than strong! Quicker than quick! Longer than long! Ready to fight for Right against Wrong! Gigantor! Gigantor! Gigantor!"


End file.
